Way overdue

So I messed up. Part of the reason I originally made this blog was to write as I traveled across Europe. I did however write in a journal so there is that written record but this one went on unused. That is not the point, the point is I haven't written in here in like 8 months so I'm going to try to write more.

Europe was life changing which totally sounds hokey but it was. I have these great friends all over the world and a different perspective on things I had never thought twice about, if that makes any sense.

So as usual, things in my life are falling apart. Before I left for Europe I totalled my car (side note: not my fault) and I'm still not back in school. I'm back to work at Penneys yet again where i get like 10 hours a week and I can't pay all my bills and my student loans. I need to step it up, I need to change. I seem to make a list of things I need to do and I always do them but still the list continues to get longer and longer with no end in sight. Its just really discouraging.

There is one thing in my life that seems to not be falling apart at the seams and that is my love life, which is something that has never been together. I have a boyfriend and have had him under my spell for a little over 4 months. I think I'm probably technically under his spell rather than hes under mine. I love him, which is frightening, I've never felt this way about anyone ever and I sure as hell have never told anyone something as intimate as this. Its so scary to lay myself out like this, completely exposed and vulnerable. We fight alot and it breaks my heart but I know that I'm here until the end and I can only hope he's on the same page as me. I think he is and I think we can work through anything as long as we're both honest, empathetic, and held accountable to each other. Which is what I think love is all about anyways.

I want to read The Late Shift which is a non fiction book about the early 90s late night wars between Leno and Letterman. It sounds super interesting. I also want to take on the JFK conspiracies and a few classic fiction novels.

I plan on cleaning my room in the near future. Is it summer yet?

....stay freshh.