new year, new proverbial leaf...

So I see my posts from 2011 have been, er, lacking. As in they don't really exist. But what a year 2011 was! It was a tumultuous year, a year of losing then finding of myself. I'm being vague, let me expand.

I started last year on the right foot, I had a better attitude and decided that this year was all about me. Me! The only person I hadn't been thinking about and should have been all this time. And so while there were the occasional low moments of weakness and slipping into old ways, the beginning of 2011 was for the most part a success. That is...

Until I met the completely forgettable, faceless guy. The guy who could be in Anywhere, USA and has the common name like John or Frank. (His name was neither for the record.) His commonplace and everydayness about him tricked me and had me under an illusion that he was in fact a good person. It should be known that he is not. And I could post his real name and say what he did but because of general manners and class, I will not. Though in reality I probably should just in case I help some foolish, naive girl from making the same mistakes as me...

This nameless man derailed me in a way that no other man could ever come close to. Even Ryan (Gasp!). He took away any form of self confidence I had built up over the past year since Ryan's dumping. He took away the joy of my promotion. He took away everything that I had worked so hard for. His shadow lingered long after he left and left unmistakable fingerprints of the "nobody" guy.

But! After a night of drinking, I stumbled out of my friend's car and almost literally ran into the guy that lived downstairs and for the first time in a while, I felt like I did actually have control of my life. So I believed.

Things went slowly with the downstairs neighbor, which was a nice change of pace. Instead of jumping into things with someone, I organized my thoughts and finally I asked him to either be with me or just be my neighbor. After several days deliberation, he decided that I was worth being with, except not enough to tell most people that he was actually with someone. Or enough to meet his friends. But enough to tell me that I shouldn't hang out with my friends.

So after a couple months of drunken fighting and crying, I was delivered with an ultimatum. My friends or him. Not even a choice. That's when I discovered something extraordinary, men don't have to leave. I could be the one that leaves this time.

And that's what I did. Although he's still my neighbor so I see him, um, everyday. It's awkward to say the least. But since our break up I've been cleaning house, as the saying goes, and organizing and just trying to be more awesome than usual.

So in accordance of being more awesome, here are my goals that I want to accomplish by the end of 2012...

1) move out into my own apartment
2) have at least $2,000 in my savings
3) at least 3 DIY crafts
4) lose 15 pounds
5) stay organized
6) plan a big trip
7) cook a new meal once a week


I also would like to note that I quit smoking in 2011, cold turkey, because I am the greatest. Not to toot my own horn but.... toot toot!

Stay fresh, yo!