Another beer for me, please.

Well, my absolute worst fear has been realized. How am I dealing? Okay. I'm fine. Not really, at all, I feel more like devastated but it's been made terribly clear to me that there is nothing I can do to change anything. I cannot make him.... just nothing can be done. If you were to say forever, I would expect that you meant it. I meant it. Forehead kisses are forever, I thought I made that crystal clear but I guess it just didn't matter what I said. I'm just left here reminded by all those empty promises, tainted with the ones I planned the rest of my life on keeping, and just left alone. I thought I found the person who would never leave me alone, my soulmate, but I was foolishly mistaken. How duped was I? How could I ever think.... I was wrong. I loved so fully, I never imagined being so in love with someone and giving myself to someone so completely, and now I am empty. With time things will get better, or so I've heard. But I'm in love forever. I guess I'm just going to learn to love someone from afar who doesn't love me back. And right now, I feel awful. I don't want to get up or even just be alive. I wish I never met him and I wish I never felt this way ever ever ever. Time heals the heart.... but until then, I'm going to have another beer and maybe even another, until I forget my name and then I won't feel so bad. At least for right now. Tomorrow, yeah maybe tomorrow, will be better. Probably not but I can always hope.